Review: Bulletstorm “It puts the f*ck in f*ck yeah!”

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Fox News said “Bulletstorm is the worst game ever created.” Belive it or not Fox is actually correct in this statement. That, of course, is assuming that by worst they meant awesomest. Is awesomest a word? F*ck it, awesomest is the word I’m using. To give you a visualization, playing Bulletstorm is like watching Chuck Norris beat a dinosaur to death with a unicorn. If you can’t tell yet this game is a bit over the top… There is also cussing. Lots and lots of cussing.

It’s not your average shooter

The game takes place in the 26th century where a secret black-ops army called Dead Echo protects the Confederation of Planets. You play as the pirate Grayson Hunt who is on mission of revenge(ish). Turns out Grayson and his partner Ishi Sato(who I swear is Spock) were once members of Dead Echo but were betrayed by their commanding officer. One of the best parts of Bulletstorm is the story. It doesn’t take itself too seriously which makes it work. There are also a couple good twists that I didn’t see coming. All the characters are believable because they are so faulted, and Grayson’s interaction with each character is golden.

Bulletstorm  does not play like your standard shooter. Instead of hiding from enemies and trying to strategically take them out, you are moving towards your enemies and figuring out the best way to kill them. Depending on how you kill your enemy it will give you points and that is essentially the game’s catch. You are encouraged to find new and creative ways to kill your foes.

There is such a variety of ways to  kill and create mayhem in Bulletstorm it is truly amazing. The level design is superb. Each level has some environmental object that acts as a killing device. From giant cacti to exploding barrels to man eating plants, you will never find a lack of ways to kill stuff in a very bad ass way. The game has a variety of weapons that can all be upgraded and each one is a blast(see what I did there) to use. I found the “leash” ability most useful for setting up kills but you are able to play each situation how ever you want.

You really can polish a turd

Graphically the game looks amazing due to the dynamic and epic art style. There are some areas that seemed to lack the polish and detail of the better looking areas in the game, but they are few. Exceptional visuals and lighting effects make Bulletstorm a feast for the eyes. Wow that last bit sounded far too posh for a game like this. Basically, Bulletstorm looks like a hot women straddling a harley with a shotgun in one hand and a cheeseburger in the other.

The campaign took me around 8 hours to beat, which is pretty standard for your average shooter. A nice addition that Bulletstorm has is echoes mode. Echoes mode will alow you to play the campaign with out cutscenes in case you want to try setting a all time high score on a level. I was disappointed that there wasn’t co-op campaign given Epic Games history. But then again at least Bulletstorm doesn’t have a Dom AI.

Have no fear though, Bulletstorm provides full online multiplayer and anarchy mode. Anarchy mode is basically horde mode for those familiar with the Gears of War games with some improvements. What happens is four players compete for points against waves of enemies. Anarchy mode also has a upgrade system similar to Counterstrike that allows players to spend the points they have earned on upgrades. Now you may think this leads to individual competition rather than cooperation, but you couldn’t be more wrong you dumb *ss piece of sh*t… I’m sorry that was the game talking not me. There is a certain score your team must reach in order to progress to the next round which will require you to preform team kills. Anarchy mode is extremely fun and addictive to play.


Despite my personal grief with some of the language use, Bulletstorm is a fun, crazy, loud, and insane shooter. I do wish there was campaign co-op since it is Epic Games but I can live with its absence. Anarchy mode is fun, addictive, and will keep you playing for hours on end. Epic Games and People Can Fly really out did themselves with this title. Bulletstorm puts the F*ck in F*ck yeah!

Which is why I am proud to give Bulletstorm, by Epic Games and People Can Fly, 5 “giant man eating plants” out of 5.

Pros: Fun and dynamic shooter, skill points make you want to kill things in the best way possible, the art design is beautiful, the game knows what it is and doesn’t try to hide it, Anarchy Mode… nuf said

Cons: Some frame-rate issues, Sometimes it felt like they used vulgarity for vulgarity’s sake, no campaign co-op


Post by Ninth Batter the author/creator of Nobody Like You.

Any opinions expressed in posts on Polygamerous are not necessarily the opinions of Polygamerous or the other Authors/Editors/Podcasters of Polygamerous.

About NinthBatter

NinthBatter(or Jack) was born in 1518 on the shores of Loch Shiel in the highlands of Scotland. Seriously though, Ninth is a small town geek born and raised although he does live in Los Angeles now. He’s been gaming since the SNES with “Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past.” He currently games on PC, Xbox, PS3, Nintendo DS, and the N-Gage(it’s a GameBoy and a phone!) He also has a Wii but currently uses it as a door stop. If you haven’t been able to figure it out, Ninth prefers to take a light-hearted and humorous approach to gaming. He also loves Pokemon…the handheld games…seriously.