Wild Kingdom Presents: Girl Gamers

Welcome to Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Today we will be investigating the subject of the Girl Gamer. And there could a little bit of excitement on the show today because most of our gamers are horny boys. A solitary hunter, the girl gamer can often been seen in the lowlands of Best Buy searching for its prey. While the girl gamer has been know to stalk consoles it’s primary source of gaming are small handhelds such as the Nintendo DSI or the iPhone. Notice how she lures her prey into a false sense of security. While she appears to have her attention on the Lady Gaga and Kanye West CDs in reality her focus is purely on the DSI games. That’s it for this weeks Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Make sure you turn in next week to see my partner Jim Fowler jumps from a helicopter onto the back of a grizzly bear while I observe from my vantage point 3 miles away in a ranger station with a cup of tea. But don’t you change that channel up next is The Wonderful World of Disney, good night!

Oh girl gamers, how I wish you were real. Wait, what do you mean they’re real, and make up about 45% of the gaming population? And play all the same games as guys? And I already knew this but wanted to make a Bob Newhart show type of joke with it but I’m now breaking the 4th wall and ruining the joke I just set up? Now that’s just crazy talk. Seriously though I know girl gamers exist, you know they exist(you might be one of them) but why doesn’t the media and the videogame industry know they exist?

Well to put it simply, a lot of the heads of the videogame industry are a bunch of @#$%#& idiots. The big game publishers(I’m talking to you EA and Activision) assume that since their “girl games” are not being bought that girls don’t play games. In reality those games just suck.  Girls are people and people don’t like playing crappy games(that’s right I said it, girls are people). Girls play the exact same games that guys do and just like guys they have their own personal taste for what genres they like best. Just because a game has “Unicorn” or “Princess” in the title doesn’t mean girls are going to buy it(however it does mean that I will…Fat Princess was awesome).

This isn’t to say that everyone in the videogame industry acts this way. In fact many developers(such as Bioware, Bethesda, Game Freak, and Blizzard) know that both men and women play their games and make sure to incorporate that knowledge into their game design(such as romances and clothing).  It isn’t because they want to add certain content to be fair to a specific gender, they do it because they want to deliver the best possible gaming experience to their audience. Thankfully the “girl gamer” stereotype is fading away and is starting to become more of a joke than anything else(much like Lindsey Lohan or Justin Bieber).  Girls are out there and they are pwning and getting pwned just like every gamer. The only difference between guy and girl gamers is that the girl gamer’s avatar’s clothes match.

Editorial by Ninth Batter the author/creator of Nobody Like You.

Any opinions expressed in posts on Polygamerous are not necessarily the opinions of Polygamerous or the other Authors/Editors/Podcasters of Polygamerous.

About NinthBatter

NinthBatter(or Jack) was born in 1518 on the shores of Loch Shiel in the highlands of Scotland. Seriously though, Ninth is a small town geek born and raised although he does live in Los Angeles now. He’s been gaming since the SNES with “Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past.” He currently games on PC, Xbox, PS3, Nintendo DS, and the N-Gage(it’s a GameBoy and a phone!) He also has a Wii but currently uses it as a door stop. If you haven’t been able to figure it out, Ninth prefers to take a light-hearted and humorous approach to gaming. He also loves Pokemon…the handheld games…seriously.